If life is about telling a good story, writing about it seems like a waste of time. I could be using this precious time to do something interesting like ride a bike off of a rooftop or sneak into a movie. But I want to share my experiences with others, and one way i can do that is by writing a blog.

Reading this book by Donald Miller has been really interesting because i haven't really read a book for a long time. I have tried to read a lot of books. Even a whole bunch of books. In fact I have a whole stack of them sitting on my filing cabinet, resting peacefully under some important dated mail, waiting for me to want to read them again. But they aren't that good.

Donald Miller says you can only read a book about nothing for so long, and that must be true, because I didn't succeed when i tried to read those books, and come to think of it, they probably weren't worth reading anyway.
Donald Miller's new book is about living a good story. The idea is that I am the protagonist in my story and I have to overcome challenges to get what I want, and going through the pain and struggles will make me a better person. That's a very simplistic explanation on my part, but the important thing for me to think about right now is whether I am anything like those books that can't be read. Does my life have a clear direction? Does God like the way my story is going... At this point i think he does, but I'm afraid I'll lose him if i start getting stuck in the slime of worry and want. Materialism runs rampant this time of year. I find myself gazing at bright colored doo-dads for hours, with nothing to show for it at the end. I think God is pissed about that. Nobody wants to read a completely pointless series of paragraphs. So I am afraid for good reason. It's a good reason because the Bible says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. That's one of the few things I've learned lately that I feel really good about. I am at least a little bit terrified of God and honestly sometimes it gives me chills, and i want to lie on the ground and cry because I feel his gaze and I am not worthy. And yes, that is pathetic, but somehow that is wise. It's wise to want to lie on the ground and cry when you're afraid of God, because fear is the beginning of wisdom.

Hardcore music is about love. Because sometimes, the only emotional support I have, is hardcore music. My "great" friends don't care, but the music is proof that people care, and by the sound of things, They care Alot....

Another day at the bank.  Gotta love writing personal emails while getting paid.  I do take my job seriously, but there is also a serious lack of traffic through here, so it evens out. 

I'm glad i encouraged you, i hope i can encourage you more in the future.  Thot for the day: same thought as yesterday.  People are actually worth dying for.  That is really a groundbreaking thought: not only are unsaved sinners worth serving, they're worth dying for.  I think that spirit of selfless sacrifice and benevolence is the spirit of christ.

10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
Granted, it is trite and unacceptable to come up with an idea that sounds good and tag a verse onto it.  But what about the commandment "love your neighbor as yourself"?
28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.

1. I realize the above verse is specifically aimed at husbands as to how they ought to love their wives, but here is an interesting quandry: shouldn't it be easier to love the one person who you've chosen to wed, as compared to worldly people who constantly skew otherwise pleasant circumstances?  We are specifically exhorted to have grace with our wives, i think, because in our corrupted state, it is incredibly difficult to do, even for the one we love the most. 
2. Part of the commandment assumes that we also love and nurture ourselves.  Strangely, that idea is foreign to a culture of cutters and jackasses.  To be fair, jackassery isn't Always harmful and destructive, but most of the time it is.  And, as usual, a few steps too close to the tangled mess of our world leave us scratching our heads.  Maybe i sound like an irrelevant conservative.  I find myself wondering if it's worth it, to hold up the dignity of man.  Maybe it isn't.  But maybe our culture just needs to be analyzed more carefully.  For example, at face value, screamers look and sound like malcontented infants, but a team of individuals whose brains are so well trained in the art of anger and hate could be capable of great atrocities, at least until the music stops... Unfortunately, i can't help satirizing hardcore music.  It's so easy.  But the screamers really don't care how much we make fun of them, because if we tried to come between them and their anger, we would be bloodied.  And the anger they are expressing in socially acceptable fashion; mostly harmless, in some sense a uniting force, it must come from somewhere.  Why are they angry and how do we explain the fact that nebulous "christian" lyrics and bands are at the forefront of this hateful music?